Drunk Driver

Introduction

This is a game whose basic premise is to get drunk. That is all, nothing less, nothing more. It requires only a deck of cards, two people and a ready supply of your favourite beverage.

How to Play

To begin play, one person has to decide to be the driver and one the dealer. Once this monumental decision has been made, the dealer places 7 cards face down in a straight vertical line on the table, with the first card closest to the driver and the last card closest to the dealer. The driver begins by turning over the card closest to him or her and carrying out the action denoted by the card shown.

• If the card is a 2-9, then the card is safe and the driver turns over the next card.
• If the card is a 10 then the dealer adds one card to the end of the line of cards.
• If the card is a Jack then the driver takes 1 drink and the dealer adds 2 cards to the end of the line.
• If the card is a Queen then the driver takes 2 drinks and the dealer adds 3 cards to the end of the line.
• If the card is a King then the driver takes 3 drinks and the dealer adds 4 cards to the end of the line.
• If the card is an Ace then the driver takes 4 drinks and the dealer adds 5 cards to the end of the line.

The object of the game is for the driver to successfully turn over all of the cards that are lying face down on the table before the dealer has dealt out all of the cards in the deck. So optimally, the driver is hoping to get through the first 7 or so cards with as few face cards as possible, quickly ending the game and turning the tables on the dealer.

If all the cards in the deck are dealt face down by the dealer, the driver must continue to flip the cards until they have gone through all the cards, resulting in a total of 40 drinks. Here in lies the importance of flipping all the cards successfully as early in the game as possible, for if one gets themselves into a hole early in the game their chances of drinking the entire deck are greatly increased.

If the driver can turn over all of the cards on the table before the dealer reaches the end of the deck then it is the dealer who must drink the combined drink value of the remaining face cards and aces in the deck. For example, if all that remains in the deck is an Ace (4) and a Jack (1) then the combined drink value is 5, so the amount the dealer will drink will vary depending on the amount the driver has already consumed.

After the deck has been exhausted, either by the driver or the dealer drinking whatever they are responsible for, then a new round must be played. In the second round the roles reverse with the driver becoming the dealer and the dealer becoming the driver (fair is fair) unless one of the players involved wimps out, in which case you may taunt and beat them. Play this game for as long as you dare, it tends to have dire consequences (as does the act of drinking and driving).